Insurance Claims

The following are actual statements found on insurance forms where car drivers have attempted to summarize the details of an accident in the fewest possible words:

"Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have."

"The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intention."

"I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way."

"A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face."

"A pedestrian hit me and went under the car."

"The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him."

"I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law, and headed over the embankment."

"In an attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole."

"I had been driving for 40 years, when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident."

"I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I reached an intersection, a hedge sprang up, obscuring my vision and I did not see the other car."

"I was on my way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way, causing me to have an accident."

"As I approached the intersection, a sign suddenly appeared in place where no stop sign had ever appeared before. I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident."

"To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front, I struck the pedestrian."

"An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car, and vanished."

"My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle."

"I told police that I was not injured, but on removing my hat, I found that I had fractured my skull."

"I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the road when I struck him."

"The pedestrian had no idea which direction to run, so I ran over him."

"I saw a slow-moving, sad-faced old gentleman as he bounced off the roof of my car."
"The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth."