Women Shorts :-)

* If your wife and a lawyer were drowning and you had to choose...
Would you go to lunch or to a movie?

* How many men does it take to change a lightbulb? None, let the bitch do the dishes in the dark.

Q: Why did the woman cross the road?
A: Never mind that why was she out of the house?

* A woman walks into a cocktail bar, approaches the barman and says : " Can I have a double-entendre please?"
So he gives her one.........

Q. Why did God create woman?
A. To carry semen from the bedroom to the toilet.

Q. If the dove is the bird of peace, what is the bird of true love?
A. The swallow.

Q. What is the definition of "making love"?
A. Something a woman does while a guy is riding her.

Q. Why does the bride always wear white?
A. Because it is good for the dishwasher to match the stove and refrigerator.

Q. If your wife keeps coming out of the kitchen to nag at you, what have you done wrong?
A. Made her chain too long.

Q. How do you turn a fox into an elephant?
A. Marry it!

Q. What is the difference between a battery and a woman?
A. A battery has a positive side.

Q. How is a woman like a condom?
A. Both of them spend more time in your wallet than on your penis.

Q. Why is the space between a women's breasts and her hips called a waist?
A. Because you could easily fit another pair of tits in there.

Q: How did the medical community come up with the term "PMS"?
A: "Mad Cow Disease" was already taken.

Q: What are three words you dread the most while making love?
A: "Honey, I'm home."

Q: How can you tell if you're at a bulimic bachelor party?
A: The cake jumps out of the girl.