7) Always looks like he's pledging allegiance.
6) His cholesterol level is directly proportional to the National Debt.
5) He owns a signed copy of Ted Kennedy's "Joy of Grease."
4) He can only donate blood to people with Type Nacho Cheese.
3) After every press conference there's a man standing over his body saying, "Clear!"
2) Let's face it: He's a politician.
And the number one sign that Richard Cheney has a bad heart:
1) During the Persian Gulf War he arrived in Kuwait with a spoon and bib, eagerly awaiting "Operation Dessert Storm."
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