Friday, May 02, 2008

Arrghh, Help

These are all GENUINE replies from patients asked why they needed an ambulance to and from hospital...

* I am under the doctor and cannot breathe.

* I can't walk to the bus stop and my wife is bent.

* I can't breathe and haven't done so for many years.

* I want transport as bus drivers do funny things to me and make me feel queer.

* I am blind in one eye and my leg.

* I live five miles from the hospital and the postman says I should have it.

* I have got arthritis and heart failure in both feet and knees.

* I must have a man as I cannot go out or do up my suspenders.

* I cannot walk up a hill unless it is down and the hill to the hospital is up.

* My husband is dead and will not bring me.

* I cannot drive a car as I have not got one.

* I hope you will send a man as my husband is quite useless.

* I can come at any time to suit you, but not mornings as I don't feel too good.

*I can't come on Mondays or Wednesdays as the home help comes, and not on Fridays as the baker calls for his money. I can't come on Tuesdays as my sister calls.

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