* My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.
* My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
* A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
* I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
* What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
About 30 pounds.
* The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
* When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge
than to let him keep her.
* A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
* Married men live longer than single men, but married men are a lot more willing to die.
* Any married man should forget his mistakes - there is no use in two people remembering the same thing.
* Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
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